Marriage and How It Has Changed Essay

Marriage has gone through profound changes over the hold out five decades, but we continue to speak nearly it as though its the same old familiar pattern. To see how more than has changed I am going to look at the shift from the forties, to the sixties, to today. In 1968, less(prenominal) than a year after the famous Summer of Love, as they utilize to say out in the country, The times they were a-changing. The sexual revolution, Viet Nam, drugsthe jejuneness of the day were convinced the world would never be the same again. Yet they didnt think slightly how such changes would affect marriage. It seemed as if they purpose it would be about the same as it had been for their p arnts, except better because they (like most youth of most times) thought they were better than their gray and jaded parents that represented the American Gothic portrayed that day.No matter how you describe it, it was a potently attractive vision. The average age at which Americans got married dropped dra stic whollyy, to equitable 19 for women. The number of children soared higher than it had for decades, to a peak of 3.7 children per woman in 1957. The closing butt then was domesticity, and both partners worked for itone to earn the pay, the new(prenominal) to develop the home. If a man was a good provider, if he didnt make happy or beat his wife, if he was a good father to his children, he was a good husband. A good wife had to be a decent cook and housekeeper, take care of the children and provide emotional patronise to her husband. Polls taken during that time show that more than 90 pct of people could non imagine an unmarried person being happy. When shooted what they thought they had given up for marriage and family, most women said, Nothing.Since the fifties, weve chased personal happiness, travel and self-fulfillment and assumed that marriage and family would someway fit in. One scratch of this shift is the percentage of couples who say they would stay together f or the sake of the children, which sank from about 50 to 20 between 1962 and 1977. Weve illogical something else, something far more move the pure sexual drama of marriage. In Goin to the chapel service Dreams of Love, Realities of Marriage, Charlotte Mayerson describes some galvanise discoveries about the Ozzie and Harriet generation. While talking in-depth to 100 middle-class women of all ages about their marriages, shefound that those who enjoyed a passionate sexual relationship with their husbands were almost veritable to harbor come of age in the fifties. In contrast, sex just wasnt that important for younger women.Time and time again, the younger women say, On a scale of one to ten, sex, I would say, gets a three, Mayerson writes. These younger women had potty of sexual relationships before they married, and the thrill was gone before the wedding day. For numerous older women, however, the excitement of sex had been a reason to marry, and the passion remained. Those Ozz ie and Harriet marriages, Mayerson suggests, could be considerably more passionate than those that have come since the Sexual Revolution. mess up boomers didnt rebel against domesticity, they just took it for granted. Marriage wasnt a stone for which they worked and sacrificed, they thought of it as an adventure that happened because you fell in love and it competed with other adventuressex, travel, success, saving the planet.Today, the fifties serve as an ideological battleground. For conservatives who regret the changes that have come, those years are a reminder of the good old days. For liberals who further society to escape oppressive patriarchal arrangements, they are a dread Dark Ages. Their constant cry is, We cant go back to the fifties Indeed, we cant. But we would do well to recognize what weve lost and might regain. Weve lost the emphasis on marriage and children that provided so much stability. Back then, a mans career was to provide for the family, not his ego a wom ans ambitions were put on the ledge if they conflicted with the childrens assumes. That was certainly restrictive to some, but it created a strong affectionate fabric. Since the fifties, weve chased personal happiness, career and self-fulfillment and assumed that marriage and family would somehow fit in.The situation is hardly hopeless. After all, if something like half of all marriages ends in divorce, that means the other half dont. We cant guarantee that our children depart succeed, but we can certainly prepare them and take them to be numbered among the successful. For previous generations, marriage was an inevitable destination. It didnt take whatever special intention it was a stage in life. For the 00 generation, marriagewill have to be a much more intentional act. They need encouragement, they need mentors, and most of all they need straight talk. We must ask them Do you know what youre doing? Are you prepared to make this a success? We often hear that if we do not lear n from the past, we are bound to relive it. In my opinion, it is certainly something that wouldnt hurt us a single bit in this particular situation.Works CitedMayerson, Charlotte. Goin To the Chapel Dreams of Love, Realities ofMarriage. 1996. Basic Press